Stop with the fat-shaming

What’s up with fat-shaming? Does it make you feel better as a person?

Black and white photo of plus size woman in swimwear

I’ve been struggling with weight for the most part of my life. My parents did not allow me to participate in any sports activities, even when I was obsessed with the artistic gymnast, Bea Lucero. It was my dream to be one too, but they preferred that I take piano and voice lessons. My being an inactive kid lead to my rapid weight gain in my preteen to early teen years.



I remember weighing 175 pounds at 15 and have been constantly bullied about it. But due to high school military training every Saturday in senior year, I shed some of the baby fat. I was able to reach my ideal weight when I turned 19 and thankfully, was able to maintain it.



I gave birth to The Little Lady in 2009, I was 24. I did gain weight again but was able to lose it a couple of years after. By 2013, I was diagnosed with having a polycystic ovary syndrome, a chronic condition with no cure and unfortunately, my symptoms include weight gain, irregular periods, and moodiness.



The biggest mistake I ever made was not taking care of myself. I simply shrugged it off; I didn’t return to my OB-GYN after that because honestly, those cysts scared the hell out of me. The result? I was a full 200-pound momma at 33.



Mister Layam and I started trying to conceive in 2017, but we were unsuccessful. I knew the reason why and continued to ignore it until I finally had the courage to have my lady parts and organs checked. A year after we started trying, I found out that both of my ovaries now are polycystic, hence the several months of missed periods and rapid weight gain even when I exercised and ate right.

Utz photo of polycystic ovaries

Polycystic ovaries

Good thing I found a doctor who understood this chronic condition. She prescribed meds and told me to continue with the exercise and a low carb diet. Believe it or not, I lost 20-30 pounds in five months, and the best part is, both of my ovaries are now clear.

So what is my point?

Honestly, it still hurts a bit when people make comments about my weight. Did I want to be this huge? Did I want to have cysts in my ovaries? Did I want to have difficulties with conceiving?? Having PCOS is a fucking struggle, and many people, especially Filipinos, are ignorant about it. They are so insensitive about other people’s appearance. I couldn’t happily reminisce with old photos and share them on Facebook without someone telling me to get my old body back.



Sadly, fat-shaming has become part of the Pinoy culture. I know this rant of a post won’t change how Filipinos react to someone gaining weight, but I hope they’d be more sensitive with others’ feelings.

Before making hurtful comments, try to think about the struggles they might be enduring. That’s all.

Celebrating a decade with the beard

Our much-needed vacation that was almost cancelled.

August 4 marked our ten years together, yay! As a celebration, we took a three-day vacation. I booked a room at Court Meridian Hotel & Suites via Agoda last January because rates are lower when you book really early. I chose Subic so we could take Lucious and it won’t be such a far drive. I also already made a detailed itinerary (I’m good with this stuff) even if it was seven months away because I’m extra like that haha!

When June came, my dad got sick and my Jimmy Boy got ran over by The Little Lady’s school bus. These events made me hesitant about going through with the plans. The budget was affected and of course, the excitement kinda died down. But after mulling it over with Mister Layam for about a couple of weeks, we decided to go ahead with the vacation. He also didn’t want my preparation efforts to go down the drain.

I’m so glad we did.

And before I get even more ‘talkative,’ here are our pictures from the trip!

Lucious’ first long drive!

At El Kabayo Stables where not only horses live, but other rescue animals too!

Lunch at Texas Joe’s.

Checked in! What a coincidence, 408! That’s a super deluxe room with veranda overlooking the bay.

After having dinner at Ramen Sora, we capped the night off with sisig and ice-cold beer at Pier 1.

Day 2. Explored the waterfront and saw how dirty the bay was LOL. So…. no water sports activities for us! 😂

Went swimming at the hotel pool before having lunch at Gerry’s Grill. I forgot to take a selfie with my cute off-shoulder swimsuit 😂

Ate dinner at Pirates Bistro. Pirate King is a plate of nachos with to-die-for salsa. BEST salsa I’ve ever tasted! And of course, best to eat with Pale Pilsen 😍

Last day. This is the view from the room. Thank goodness, the sun is out!

So there you have it! We will definitely go back, and we’ll bring The Little Lady along next time. Court Meridian Hotel is child/family-friendly so it’s highly recommended to parents with little kids. It’s also perfect for sleep-deprived people because the bed is so comfy and the AC’s noiseless!

Wordless Wednesday 05.31.17

Is age really just a number?

I’m turning 32 in a week and rethinking about my choices in life.

Kidding. That subtitle is just too serious. But yes, I’ll be adding another year in my life on June 3rd so I thought about reviewing my life in general.

Let’s see. I’m married, check. I have an offspring, check. I got a stable job and happy with it, check. We own a house, check. We got a car, check. So what else is missing? Hmmmm…

*after three minutes*

I have finally decided that yes, I want another kid (if Mister Layam gets to read this, he’ll be jumping in utter delight). Why? Well, I am curious to see what a male me would look like. We’re planning to have a baby boy and as I have said, I’ll do everything it takes to conceive one. He has to have my curly hair and large eyes. As for the finances, I guess we can make it work. Both of us have stable jobs and get paid well enough. It is pretty exciting when I think about it! So Mister Layam, yes, I agree to making one. Haha!

I also plan to get fitter and lead a healthier lifestyle. I gained soooo much weight in the past couple of years because, who doesn’t love to eat delicious food?? I have sometimes got a bit broke because of buying too much food, and even if I wasn’t too hungry. And the worst part is, my favorite clothes don’t fit anymore! So yeah, I’ll be starting to eat less and live an active lifestyle.

I want to own a business. It has always been our plan to have one but time and funds don’t permit. Having a business is a financial backup in case we both get laid off (I hope not, though). And if our business becomes really successful, we could leave our jobs and manage it full time (I’m so happy at work I don’t want to leave just yet). Wouldn’t it be nice to be your own boss and manage your own time? 

I want to invest in a condo unit in the city. This or the business, either way, they’re great investments. I could have the unit rented and The Little Lady could stay there when she’s finally in college. It’s always nice to know that you own another home where you can crash to after a gig or when the traffic’s really heavy.

So, is age really just a number? My answer is yes. It’s the choices that matter. You may be fifty but you can look younger if you are happier with your life. I might go YOLO with my decisions too before it gets too late and take more risks if my gut approves. 

Enjoy the rest of the week, guys! 🙂

Wordless Wednesday 05.24.17

That Green-Eyed Monster, Jealousy

My stance on jealousy and other coped up feelings haha

Jealous partner

I would be a hypocrite if I said I have never been in my life been a jealous girlfriend, wife, or friend. I have had those minor fits (minor because I am generally not a jealous partner) but at my age, I have less and less felt that way. I guess maturity does play a significant role with jealousy. And yes, I have learned to feel less insecure about myself too.

If you were like my previous self, let me tell you something. Chill, just chill. I have realized that being too jealous and overprotective of your partner will make you the Queen of Insecurities exuding bad vibes all over the place. And guys, that is not good. Friends will stay away from you and you automatically enlist yourself in the Toxic People Club.

I have known people who, unfortunately, belong to the club. And because I can be too observant at times, I was able to mentally list three “rules” they all want their partners to follow. I used a girl as the jealous person in my examples, but these can apply the other way around or with gay couples.

“You can’t take photos with another girl, even in a group picture.”

“I do not like you taking photos with another girl, even in a group pic.”

Like WTF, seriously? It’s a harmless photo. Were they having sex while the picture was taken? Were they groping each other? Unless they look like they’re doing something off in the photo, you know, like having a steamy make-out session then yes, you absolutely have the right to transform into the green-eyed monster.

“Who is this girl and why is she sending you a message/calling you?”

“Who is this girl and why is she sending you a message/calling you?”

What if it’s his cousin? What if it’s his lady boss asking for work-related stuff? Even if it isn’t a relative, you can’t just get jealous when a girl his texting him, especially if the message is so not suspicious. If the message goes, “Hey handsome, let’s meet up tonight,” or calls your guy at 3 AM in the morning because she wants to “open up,” then you can go and slap your partner right then and there. Kidding. Ask him calmly and investigate before going full-on beast mode.

“You cannot sit next to any girl in the bus, train, jeep, or office.”

“You cannot sit next to any girl in the bus/train/jeep/office.”

LOL. Come on, now honey. This is not possible unless there’s a separate transportation vehicle or workplace for every gender. Are you studying in a Catholic school in the 40s? Sorry, this really makes me laugh my head off! HA HA HA HA

BUT! Yes, there is definitely a but. I believe that there’s a “proper jealousy” where a person needs to feel that way. Otherwise, you have no care for your partner anymore. Wait, that didn’t sound clear. Let me give you an example then. It is TOTALLY FINE to feel jealous IF a girl is flirting with your partner and you have HARD EVIDENCE that she is totally into him. Yes, you trust your partner, but you absolutely cannot trust the girl.

So what are going to do about it? Simple. You don’t go full on beast mode right away, my dear. You have to observe her actions and your guy’s first. If that keeps on happening, and he entertains her, talk to your partner. Let him know that it is not okay. He could just be so gullible or simply stupid that he doesn’t know that the girl is already flirting with him. Yes, some men can be like that! Remember, communication is key.

So again, be jealous only when you need to. Otherwise, you are an immature piece of dirt that belong to the infamous Toxic People Club, ugh!

Wordless Wednesday 05.17.17